It's hard to believe that a year has passed:
On July 1, 365 days had passed since I started my "101 things I want to do in 1001 days" list.
pão e queijo turned one year old on August 1!
And… today is my birthday!
First things first:
On my 101 list, I actually got quite a bit of things accomplished. A few months into the list, I decided I wanted to set my sights higher and decided to rearrange a few things. But the general feeling remains the same. Here are a few of the things I've done so far:
- Make pecan pie (see my post here for the recipe I made last year for my birthday)
- Go to my ULACIT Bachelor's degree graduation ceremony
- Make cheese (see my ricotta recipe here)
- Get baptized
- Make a tarte tatin… This must be one of my favorite desserts. I made it with homemade puff pastry (see the recipe here)
- Visit Mexico
- Take baking classes
- Start a food blog
- Make a layer cake (see yellow cake with chocolate frosting here)
- And just recently I was able to check off going to my Licenciate's degree graduation from Unibe!
I'm currently working on reading 10 books for pleasure (I'm on number 7 and just devouring our awesome library here!). I also have on my list going parasailing, taking a wine course, eat a French macaron (I know, how is it possible this has not happened already?), running a half-marathon, growing a successful herb garden, and making sourdough bread, along with a ton of other fun stuff!
As for pão e queijo, although we've been in a kind of externally-motivated rut for some time, I'm quite pleased. I feel like we've gotten "into the groove", the photography has improved at least a little, and I'm very much enjoying myself. I have a lot of goals for p&q so we'll see where this year takes us!
As far as my birthday goes, I'm grateful for another year of life and blessings. This year has gone pretty quickly; I feel like I entered to get my Licenciate's degree just yesterday or last week. A year ago I was in a totally different place, both geographically and emotionally; I was in a sinking relationship, attending patients for my professional practice, and had begun to worry about "what I was going to do with my life." It's incredible what I've learned in this past year about relationships, life, friendships, God, and most importantly myself.
I've learned how to be alone and enjoy it. That means more independence and emotional freedom; not depositing all of my needs on someone else. I've learned some about forgiveness and our inability to change people- we can't teach others right from wrong, we can't ask them to be something they aren't. I learned that once trust has been torn, it can never be pieced back together. I learned to love myself on my own, and that it truly is better than to give yourself and share the best of yourself with someone undeserving.
I learned that it's never, ever to late to start over. And that God is closest in the hardest moments, we just have to trust. I don't deeply regret anything that I've done or that has happened to me; they have been stepping stones and classes to prepare me for the next steps to come. To be able to move on and clear your heart for another you must first clear the slate for the next person, and that takes time. I've understood the importance of letting people go at the right time. And that living in a drowning relationship that only one person is trying to save is not worth wasting time on.
But mainly I learned that God has a perfect purpose and time for everything and that He will be my everything and never let me go. He is the one who fills in the empty spaces, the gaps, the places humans can never fill. And He is the only one who knows the full story, and the hearts of men.
Now, at this transition time, I know that in another year I'll be in a completely different place with a whole set of new lessons. I'm excited for the changes to come, albeit a bit scared, but I want to welcome them openly into my life. It's exciting.